Kurt's Promise
by huntinglily
Summary: Right before graduation, Kurt made a secret promise to Quinn and then she disappeared. Now, as the glee club struggles with Kurt's death, Quinn returns and more than Rachel's curiosity is sparked after she discovers Quinn's secret. Faberry is endgame, as per usual. Rated T for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**This is set a year after The Quarterback. Enjoy, read, and review if you like it (: or if you hate it...but preferably not if that's the case. Meow!**

* * *

"Today, we come together as one to honor the brief but spectacular life of Kurt Elizabeth Hummel…"

When Rachel Berry was a child, she had a trick to playing hide-and-go-seek. If she couldn't see the person who was it, they couldn't see her either. It was an excellent technique and assured her a win every time she played the game.

So why not apply her flawless strategy to real life? If she couldn't see the people dressed in black surrounding her, they weren't really there. If she couldn't hear Burt Hummel crying in front of her, he wasn't really grieving over the loss of his son. If Rachel closed her eyes and wished hard enough that this wasn't real, then it would all go away.

It always worked during hide-and-go-seek. Why wasn't it working now?

Slowly, the tiny brunette re-opened her eyes and much to her dismay and heartbreak, the funeral continued to go on. As she gazed around the pews of the church, all she could see was an ocean of tears. Blaine sat to her right; stony-faced with a pain in his eyes that stabbed Rachel's heart. To her left sat Santana and next to the Latina was Brittany, who had her pinky linked with Santana's in a sign that marked years of friendship. Next to Brittany, Mercedes and Tina sobbed quietly into each other. Puck, Mike and Sam sat directly behind her, each with a somber expression. Artie's chair was parked in the aisle, his glasses steamed up with fog from his tears. Kitty, Marley, Jake, Ryder and Unique took up an aisle; Marley cried against Jake as he put his arm around her, Ryder held onto her hand from her other side, and Kitty and Unique leaned into each other for support as they listed to the service. Somewhere her fathers sat, as well as Mr. Schue and Emma. Dani was here, as well as Adam and Isabelle. Students from both McKinley High School and Dalton Academy had shown up. The church was filled with people who had come to pay their final respects to Kurt and the sight of it all felt like a punch to Rachel's stomach.

Tears filled the diva's eyes and spilled silently down her face as she took in everything around her. There was simply no way this was happening again so soon. Hadn't she just had her heart broken after having to sit through Finn's funeral? Wasn't that enough grief to last her the rest of her life? And yet here she sat, having her heart smashed into a million pieces all over again, as she endured the pain of losing her best friend.

* * *

It had been a year since Finn's passing, and Rachel was finally regaining her confidence and beginning to truly smile again. Itwas 11:37pm on a lazy Friday night and she had just finished watching Mamma Mia with Santana and Dani, enjoying a girly night in the loft while Kurt was off with some friends from school. At the sound of the phone ringing, the diva hopped off the couch and twirled like a ballerina. Musicals just had a way of putting her in a slaphappy mood.

"I'll get it!" she sang, humming 'Dancing Queen' and dreamily imagining herself as Sophie, not knowing who her father was and daringly inviting the three possible contenders to her wedding without telling her mother…

"Is this the residence of Kurt Hummel?" a deep voice asked through the phone, interrupting Rachel's fantasy.

"Sure is!" she chirped. "He's not in right now, can I take a message?"

There was a pause. "Are you a friend of Kurt's?"

"Hurry up, Munchkin; we're ready to start Grease!" Santana called from the living room.

"I'm his roommate," Rachel replied, turning around to shush Santana. "I'm sorry, who is this?"

And then the words that still haunted the dark shadows of her mind. "Miss, this is the Chief of Police. There's been a fatal car accident and your roommate…"

Rachel had never found out what the policeman said after that. Her eyes glazed over, she stopped breathing, and she let the phone fall from her hands to the floor.

"Jesus Rachel, are you trying to break it?" Santana muttered when she and Dani whipped around at the sound of the phone clattering to the floor. But the Latina's next string of insults died on her lips as she caught sight of Rachel turning blue from lack of oxygen.

"Rachel!"

Santana flew to the tiny brunette's side as Dani raced around them and picked up the phone, resuming conversation. Santana grabbed Rachel's shoulders and shook them with force.

"Dammit Rachel, breathe!" she growled, staring into the diva's glassy eyes. But Rachel stood frozen, unable to react.

"Oh God, no" Dani whispered into the phone. Santana's head snapped up at her girlfriend's words and her blood ran cold. She met Dani's eyes and saw the truth in them without words being spoken. Grief pierced her heart like a shard of ice, and all Santana could do was mouth the word _no_ over and over again.

"San, she's swaying!"

Santana whipped around and her eyes grew wide as she threw out her hands, catching Rachel at last second before the smaller girl toppled over. Making a dire decision, she drew her hand back and slapped Rachel across her face as hard as she could.

"Santana!"

But Santana ignored Dani's shock as she sighed in relief. Immediately, Rachel snapped out of her trance-like state and sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. Her hands flew to the red mark on her face and she crumpled to the floor, her body shaking with sobs.

Tears flooded Santana's eyes as she sank down next to the smaller girl and wrapped her arms around her tiny frame. She distantly heard Dani continue to talk to the policeman on the phone, but nothing her girlfriend said made any sense to the Latina. All she could focus on was Rachel as the girl let out shrieks of despair. Santana held onto her as tightly as she could, tears running down her face. It was too soon, too soon after losing Finn. This wasn't happening again. This wasn't happening again…

* * *

Rachel jolted from her painful memories as she felt a nudge against her shoulder. She looked up and saw Santana standing up and holding her hand out.

Oh yeah, that's right. Being like his second family, each member of the glee club had agreed to say something brief about Kurt before the funeral ended. Rachel took Santana's hand, got to her feet, and turned around; it was her turn to do the same to Blaine. She held out her hand and Blaine grabbed it tightly, as if he was drowning and she was his lifeline.

The club made its way up to the front of the church, where they formed a line. Everyone knew the order: Mr. Schue would start, followed by the newest members, and then the older ones and it would end with Rachel herself. Slowly, one by one, each person spoke their piece.

"Kurt Hummel…" Mr. Schue said quietly, "was an inspiration to us all. He knew who he was and wasn't afraid to show it."

"Kurt was nice to everyone…even me" murmured Kitty.

"He filled the choir room with joy every time he came back to visit, and treated us newcomers with just as much love as his did the senior members" Marley followed.

Then it was Ryder's turn. "Dude, Kurt, you're a glee legend. Always will be."

"Thank you for showing me I could be myself and not be ashamed" Unique's voice shook. "You gave me the courage to let my inner light shine."

Jake was next. "You were a brother to Puck and therefore, a brother to me."

Then went the older club members, the ones who had been in glee alongside Kurt.

"Kurt, you were such a girl sometimes" said Sam, and a light gasp went up from the pews. But the blonde boy held his hand up to show he was not finished, and Rachel saw a teasing twinkle among the pain in his eyes. "_Such_ a girl. But you were also one of the guys, and even though you couldn't beat up a football player" – the gasps turned to chuckles – "we knew you had our backs just as much as we had yours."

"You held us together" Mike said simply.

Artie wheeled up forward as Mike handed him the microphone. "There wasn't much you couldn't do, Kurt."

"For every single time I threw you into the trash can, or slammed you into a locker, or called you some horrible name…" Puck closed his eyes and swallowed hard, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kurt. You were such a good guy, better than I will ever be and Artie's right, there was nothing you couldn't do. Say…say hi to Finn for me, will you?"

Rachel's heart broke as she watched tough-guy Puck choke up on his last words and start to cry. It was too much; this was all too much.

Mercedes and Tina went up together.

"To Kurt" Mercedes said in a shaky voice.

"Our sassy-panted diva" Tina smiled through her tears.

"We love you" they said together, and both blew kisses in an upward motion.

"Kurt, you will always be my unicorn." Brittany smiled as she spoke, handing the microphone over to Santana, who took it with shaking hands.

"When Finn died…" Santana paused, tilting her eyes up towards the ceiling so that her tears wouldn't fall. "When Finn died, I was a mess. Like a colossally bratty train wreck of a mess. I lashed out at the people I loved the most because I didn't know how to handle my emotions. Kurt came and found me. I had written a list of nice – like, _really_ nice – things about Finn that I was too embarrassed to read and Kurt didn't push me to do so. He did, however, say a couple things that struck me. So I made a list of nice things about Kurt and this time, I'm not embarrassed to say them out loud."

The Latina drew in a shaky breath as she unfolded the piece of paper she was clutching in her hands. She looked at Rachel with a flicker of uncertainty and Rachel beamed back through her tears, prouder of her friend than she had ever been before.

Santana gave her a watery smile and turned her attention back to her list. "Number one: Kurt Hummel was a lady. Number two: Kurt Hummel wasn't afraid. Number three: Despite all the awful things I said and did to him, Kurt Hummel was my friend. Number four – "And that's where Santana stopped. Rachel watched with an aching heart as Santana eyes welled up with tears and was grateful to see Brittany sneak up behind the dark-haired girl, whisper something in her ear, and gently guide her away.

Blaine turned to Rachel with anguish and panic in his eyes. "I can't do it, Rachel. I can't. How can I get up there and talk about Kurt when not even Santana could finish what she had to say?"

Rachel took Blaine's hands into her own and squeezed them. "You can do it" she whispered. She leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "Speak from your soul."

Blaine closed his eyes briefly before opening them and nodding. Determination glimmered amongst the sadness in his expression as he took the microphone and faced the people in front of him.

"I had a whole speech prepared, about how Kurt and I met and how our relationship grew from friendship to love. It was about our journey together and it was really, really long." Blaine paused, taking a deep breath, and then looked up again with a shaky smile. "But I'm not going to read it to you."

Several confused murmurs went through the crowd at his proclamation. He waited for them to die down before continuing.

"I'm not going to read it to you" Blaine said, "because I don't need a three-page speech to tell you how much I loved Kurt – how much I will love him for the rest of my life. Kurt was and always will be my one true soul mate. I will never forget him, and come what may…there will always be a place for him in my heart."

There was a beat of silence, and then – _clap_. Kurt's father stood and slowly began to clap, soon joined by everyone in the church, Rachel included. Though it wasn't customary to clap at a funeral, Blaine's beautiful words deserved it. She knew there was no way she could possibly follow that, but it was her responsibility to end this.

Blaine handed her the microphone and gave her a hug. "Thank you" he whispered. "Knock 'em dead, superstar. Make our boy proud."

Rachel choked back her tears as Blaine pressed his lips to her forehead. She gripped the microphone tightly in her hand and breathed in deeply before gazing out at the crowd.

"Once, during our first year of glee, Kurt lied and said he was in love with me just to get out of a date with Mercedes." An indignant sputter could be heard over the sound of people's laughter, and it willed Rachel to go on. "I continued to tease him about it throughout our friendship. That's how we worked, Kurt and I – we constantly annoyed each other. I used to despise Kurt for wanting my solos; he used to despise me for getting them." More laughter. "But Kurt knew me better than I knew myself. Other than my dads, he probably put up with more of my tantrums than anyone else did. He knew how to calm me down, but he could also say the exact thing I needed to hear to spark me up again. He saved me from that first awful experience at NYADA, turning my hellish nightmare into a safe haven. Kurt could put me in a bad mood, oh yes, but he could snap me out of it just as quickly. He was sweet when I was sour, doting when I was needy, but also let me have it when I deserved it. He was the Glinda to my Elphaba and the best friend I could have ever asked for. I'd like to end this by singing a song we once sang together, that I feel truly marked the meaning of our friendship to one another."

Rachel knew that every eye in the place was on her, but she didn't care. The only eyes that mattered to her in that moment were Kurt's. She closed her eyes and pictured him standing next to her once again, shivering with excitement as they stood on the Gershwin Theater's set of _Wicked_ after sneaking in one early New York morning.

The tiny brunette wore her heart on her sleeve as she sang 'For Good' – it was _their_ song. Though her voice was raw with emotion, she hit every note perfectly; she had to, for him. She poured their entire friendship into a single song and as Rachel re-opened her eyes, the late crystal-clear note fading from her mouth, she knew she had done Kurt proud. She handed the microphone back to the minister, and walked straight into Santana's waiting embrace. She felt Blaine's arm slip around them as well, and soon the entire glee club, both old and new members, were engulfing each other in a group hug.

The minister cleared his throat and began to speak the final words of the service. "To conclude –"

"Wait."

Rachel's head snapped up at the interruption. It had been so long since the last time she heard that voice, that impossibly smooth soft-spoken voice, she was almost sure she had imagined it. Slowly, she crept her way out of the hug as her friends parted around her. Her eyes scanned the crowd, searching anxiously up and down the pews until they hit the back of the church and fell on the source of the voice.

"Yes, young lady?" the minister asked. "Do you have something to add?"

A strikingly pretty girl stepped forward from the shadows. She wore a simple white dress – still her signature outfit – and her blonde tresses were held back with a barrette. She walked up to the minister with the kind of gracefulness only she could manage.

"Yes, I do. May I?" she asked, gesturing to the microphone. The confused man handed it over and stepped to the side so that all attention was on her.

"What the hell?" Rachel heard Santana whisper, shock evident in her tone of voice. The smaller girl held her finger to her lips, shushing the Latina. She had no idea what was about to happen, but she wasn't going to miss a single word of it.

The smile that the newcomer at the front of the crowd wore on her lips was sad, but serene. "For those of you that don't know, my name is Quinn Fabray." Rachel sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth; after all this time, just hearing that name could still make her stomach flip and her heart stop.

"I was a classmate of Kurt's, as well as a fellow glee member" Quinn went on to say. "Though we were never the closest of friends, Kurt and I got along – that is, as soon as I dropped the mega-bitch again." At the sounds of disapproval at her language choice, Quinn fixed the crowd with her trademark eyebrow-raise. "As I was saying, we got along and we were friends. I lost touch with the glee club after awhile; college took over my life. But I stayed in touch with Kurt because he made me a promise right before we graduated and I had every intent of making sure he didn't break it."

Rachel frowned, trying to make sense of Quinn's words. This was news to her; that the blonde had kept in touch with Kurt. She looked at Santana, who shook her head and looked to Blaine, who gave her a confused shrug. Obviously she wasn't the only one in the dark here.

Quinn continued to speak, interrupting Rachel's thoughts. "I swore Kurt to secrecy that day, making him swear never to tell another soul about our promise. I can tell by the reaction of my friends that he stayed true to his word." Quinn's eyes glanced over the glee club huddle. "I just wanted to say a final thank you to him for keeping his promise to me. You did an excellent job, Kurt."

The blonde closed her eyes momentarily before opening them and giving the crowd one last smile. But Rachel didn't miss the tears in Quinn's hazel eyes before she blinked them away and gave the microphone back to the minister.

The rest of the service was lost to Rachel, as a million questions flew through her mind. Why had Quinn come back for the funeral after all this time without telling anyone? Where and what had she been doing the past two years? Why had Quinn chosen Kurt of all people to keep in touch with?

And, Rachel's biggest question and the most confusing to her, what was this mysterious promise Kurt had made to Quinn?

* * *

**Yes... I know it doesn't sound like Faberry yet. But I promise it will be. Because Faberry is endgame. Always. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, all! Thanks for the follows and reviews, I'm glad you're all liking it (I hope) thus far!**

**To make it clear, some of this will follow what happened/happens on the show, but obviously the majority it will not be canon. My imagination is on crack, so bear yourselves for a lot of probable nonsense. **

**Chapters will get longer as this continues, but I just wanted to get the first couple out there. Enjoy Chapter 2 and as always, read and review (: **

* * *

After the service ended, Rachel's troubled brown eyes darted anxiously as she scanned the crowd for Quinn. All she wanted to do was confront the blonde, which wasn't easy with the amount of people who kept stopping her to offer their condolences. She smiled and graciously thanked each one of them, all the while keeping a watchful eye out for the tell-tale blonde waves she was in search of.

However, she was momentarily distracted from her hunt when she turned a corner and saw something that stopped her cold and instantly filled her eyes with tears.

There sat Santana on a bench, her head in her hands, body shaking with sobs. The harsh sound of the Latina's ragged cries was gut-wrenching. But what struck Rachel hard was the sight of Brittany sitting next to Santana, arms wrapped around the other girl's body, whispering to her. It had been so long since she had seen those two together; it both warmed her heart and broke it at the same time. She stood there, watching the two girls who had once been not only best friends but lovers, one comforting the other in her time of need. It made something inside of Rachel ache.

"Sweet, isn't it?"

Rachel turned at the sound of Dani's voice and her eyes widened slightly. Dani was Santana's current girlfriend, and the two of them had been dating for a year. Did she know about Santana's history with Brittany?

Dani saw the look on Rachel's face and smiled. "Don't worry, I know about Brittany. And I'm not worried or threatened or anything like that. I know Santana loves me, but I know she loves Brittany too. This is something only she can help Santana through, and that's all I want."

Rachel returned the smile through her tears. Dani was truly one of the sweetest and most genuine people she had ever met.

"Santana's lucky to have you," she said, and Dani shook her head modestly.

"No, I think I'm the lucky one," the other girl replied. Her smile dimmed a notch as she studied Rachel. "You holding up okay? You sang beautifully. Kurt would've been so proud. Insanely jealous that you sounded so amazing, but proud."

Rachel laughed. "You know, the same thought went through my head when I let out that last note." Her giggles faded. "But yeah, believe it or not, I'm doing okay. Thank you so much for coming, Dani."

Dani bumped the tiny brunette's shoulder with her own. "Hey, of course. I had to be here for you and Santana, you two are my girls. And I loved Kurt like a brother. A flamboyantly homosexual brother who thought I was a nutcase, but a brother nonetheless. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. And now if you'll excuse me," she said, winking at Rachel, "I'm off to find the little girl's room. I've been holding it since the beginning of the never-ending service and I don't think I'll last much longer."

Rachel shook her head, giggling as she watched Dani walk off. Santana's girlfriend was so quirky and quick-witted, always providing everyone around her with laughs. Add that in with being such a positive influence on Santana's life, Rachel knew that having Dani in their lives when they went back to New York would be an immense comfort.

The tiny brunette continued to make her way through the crowd, flashing smiles at everyone she passed. But inside, her stomach was turning and she felt sick. It was so damn exhausting trying to appear okay when all she wanted to do was curl up and cry. But she couldn't; she had vowed the second Kurt died that she would look after everyone and in order to do that, she had to be the brave one.

Rachel startled as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Honey, you okay?" It was her daddy, looking sad and tired, but concerned.

Rachel nodded. "Yes Daddy, I'm fine. How's Dad holding up?"

Leroy smiled. "You know your father," he sighed. "Cried through the entire service. I mean, so did I but I wasn't as obnoxious about it. He blew his nose twice. Loudly. Sounded like a troubled elephant."

Rachel giggled, and her daddy's smile grew more genuine. "There's the smile I've been missing," he said, pulling her into a tight hug. "You sure you're okay?"

She sighed and hugged him back before pulling away. "Yes, Daddy. I think I'm just going to step outside for a moment for some air."

"Alright honey, you do that. Take your time." There was a loud honking noise and Leroy groaned at the sound. "That'll be the elephant, blowing his nose again. I better go find him."

Rachel shook with silent laughter as her daddy walked off, looking embarrassed. She went in the other direction, towards the side door of the church. As soon as she stepped outside, she spotted a bench and sat down, sucking huge breaths of the cool air into her lungs.

"That girl was right, you sang like an angel. I knew you would."

Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she turned her head slowly, her gaze finally landing on Quinn. The blonde stood in front of her and Rachel's heartbeat quickened as she took in Quinn's soft blonde waves, red lips, white dress, and hazel eyes. Her own brown eyes landed on the other girl's smile and she felt her heart skip a beat. Quinn looked beautiful, just as she always did. Even after all this time, just the sight of her could still make Rachel go weak at the knees.

"You know, most people say something like thank you after being complimented."

Rachel snapped out of her trance and scowled up at the smirking blonde. However, her frown was quick to fade.

"Quinn," she said softly, a jolt going through her; it had been so long since that name had danced on her lips. "What – how – where did you –"

Quinn sat down next to her and placed a slender finger over Rachel's mouth, cutting her off. The tiny brunette's lips trembled slightly under the other girl's touch.

"Don't. Now isn't the time," Quinn murmured. She removed her finger and offered a smile. "I just wanted to tell you that you sounded beautiful, as per usual. Kurt would have been proud of his best friend."

Rachel's heart ached. It was painful to think that even after delivering what she knew was one of her best performances, the blonde's approval was still was she needed to feel one-hundred percent about it.

"That means so much to me, Quinn." Rachel's voice came out shaky and breathless as she tried to hold back another bout of tears. "Thank you."

Quinn reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair away from Rachel's face. The smaller girl's heart fluttered at the contact and it was all she could do not to burst into tears. She took a deep, shaking breath, trying to regain hold of her emotions.

"You…you should go mingle," Rachel choked out. "People are probably dying to talk to you."

Quinn quirked her eyebrow and leaned forward, tucking the piece of hair behind Rachel's ear. The gesture was so painstakingly gentle that Rachel felt a tear leak out and roll down her face. The other girl reached out, catching it with her thumb and brushing it away.

"You don't need to be so tough, you know," Quinn whispered. "Even superstars cry."

And that was all it took to break the dam that Rachel had been trying so desperately to keep in front of her eyes.

"Quinn," she whispered brokenly, a sob escaping her throat. The blonde opened her arms and Rachel collapsed into the embrace. She buried her face in Quinn's neck and cried her eyes out as Quinn held her, stroking her hair. They remained that way until Rachel's sobs came to a stop and she regained control of her breathing.

Quinn released her hold and brushed her thumb under Rachel's eyes, wiping away the smudged make-up. Rachel continued to take deep breaths and sat still as Quinn fluffed her hair out until it was fanned out and cascading over her shoulders in gentle waves.

"Perfect," Quinn said when she was done, smiling. "Kurt would expect nothing less from Rachel Berry."

"Quinn, I –" Rachel stopped as the blonde leaned forward, pressing her forehead against Rachel's.

"We'll talk, okay?" Quinn stated, "Not now, but soon. Call me. You still have my number, right?"

The blonde's voice had the tiniest hint of uncertainty in it, and it made Rachel ache.

"Of course," she nodded reassuringly. And of course was right; she couldn't get rid of Quinn's number even if she deleted it from her phone. Those numbers were permanently tattooed in her mind.

Quinn smiled and pulled back. She stood and turned back to Rachel, holding her hand out to help the smaller girl up. Rachel hesitated for a heartbeat before delicately placing her hand into Quinn's and standing up beside her. She took a final deep breath and reached for the door handle, but was stopped when Quinn caught hold of her wrist.

Rachel's breath hitched as Quinn took her hand and brought it to those ruby red lips. She pressed a feather-light kiss to Rachel's knuckles, sending a shiver down the tiny brunette's body.

Quinn released her hold on Rachel's wrist and gave Rachel one more beautiful smile before opening the door and disappearing back into the church.

Rachel stood frozen, unable to process what had just happened. She could still feel Quinn's lips against her fingers; her skin tingled where the contact had been made. A million thoughts and questions ran through her mind, and there was only one thing at that point that she was absolutely sure of:

Quinn Fabray was back and with a single kiss, she had managed to turn Rachel's idea of "normal" upside-down all over again.

* * *

Summer before Senior Year

"_Spin the bottle in the living room!"_

_Puck's house was alive with music, noise, alcohol, and glee members. Everyone in the club had gathered at his house to celebrate the start of the summer. At the sound of his announcement, people began to make their way towards the living room. _

_Rachel, who had been playing shot pong with Kurt, Mercedes, and Mike, squealed and grabbed Kurt's arm. _

"_Let's go!" She dragged him away from the pong table, and Mercedes and Mike were quick to follow._

_As they passed the bathroom in the hall, Rachel released her hold on Kurt. "I'll be right there," she promised. "I'm going to the bathroom. Save me a seat!" _

_Kurt nodded, giving her a wink and she giggled. Being drunk with her glee friends was so much fun. They all turned into such dorks, and it made her happy. _

_Rachel stumbled her way into the bathroom, surprised when she found someone else already in there. _

"_Oh, Quinn!"_

_The blonde stood at the sink, fixing her make-up in the mirror. Rachel began to back out of the room. _

"_Sorry, I didn't know you were here in." She paused, giggling. "Wait, that's not right. In here. I didn't know you were in here." _

_Quinn finally turned to her and smirked. "You're drunk," she informed Rachel, who nodded and giggled yet again. _

"_I was going to do the same thing you're doing, but I'll wait outside until you're done."_

"_No, that's okay," Quinn reached behind Rachel and closed the door shut. "Help yourself," she said, gesturing to the make-up scattered on the counter._

_Rachel's eyes widened in appreciation as she read the name brand on Quinn's mascara. "Wow, thanks." She opened it and in an attempt to apply it, poked herself in the eye._

"_Ouchie!" _

_Quinn rolled her eyes, taking the mascara from Rachel and pointing at the counter. _

"_Sit, Berry" she commanded. "That is, if you can reach." _

_Rachel stuck her tongue out at the blonde, hoisting herself up to side on the edge of the sink. _

"_I'm not that short," she grumbled. _

_Quinn raised an eyebrow at her – her signature move. "Close your eyes," she instructed, and Rachel obliged. Quinn began to apply make-up to her eyes, touching up what was already there._

"_Why do you have so much make-up on?"_

"_It's a party, Quinn," Rachel informed her. "I'm supposed to look pretty." _

_The taller girl rolled her eyes. "You don't need make-up for that." _

_Rachel's eyes popped open at the statement. "Are you calling me pretty?" she asked incredulously, trying to process that fact through her drunken haze. _

_Quinn shrugged. "It's no big deal," she said nonchalantly. _

_The tiny brunette shook her head vigorously. "Oh, but it is!" she exclaimed. "You're like the prettiest girl in the whole school and maybe the world! It's such a huge compliment coming from you." _

_Rachel could have sworn she saw a light blush spread over Quinn's cheeks but then again, she blinked and it was gone before she could decide if it was real. _

"_Whatever, Berry."_

"_No, really," Rachel went on in earnest. "You're pretty enough to be a Disney princess. Although you're considerably sassy, so really you're more like Tinkerbell. She's still gorgeous but that little pixie has an attitude. Or is she a fairy? Faith, trust, and pixie dust…she must be a pixie. Unless she's a fairy and just stole some pixie's dust. How mean. Anyways, she also had blonde hair, like you! You guys are so much alike." _

_Quinn groaned at Rachel's banter. "Shut up and close your eyes." _

_Rachel did as she was told and pondered the difference between fairies and pixies as the blonde finished re-touching her make-up. She hopped off the counter when Quinn was done, and was pleasantly shocked as she turned around. _

"_My eyes look so good!" she gasped, and then pouted. "Why are you so good at this?" _

_Quinn laughed. "I'm not as drunk as you are, Berry. I can control my hands enough not to stab myself in the eye." _

_Rachel frowned. "How come?"_

_The blonde shrugged as she packed her make-up away into a small black bag. "I mean, I'm tipsy right now. I've definitely got a good buzz going, but I don't really like getting hammered at parties. _

"_Why?" _

_Quinn turned to face Rachel and deadpanned her. "The last time I got that drunk at a party, I also got pregnant." _

_Rachel slapped her hand over her mouth, feeling stupid and insensitive. She knew the blonde didn't ever really bring up that time in her life, and for obvious reasons. She reached forward and grabbed Quinn's hand, holding it in both of her own._

"_I'm so sorry, Quinn, I forgot."_

_Quinn shrugged again, gently releasing her fingers from Rachel's death-grip. _

"_Don't apologize." The blonde offered Rachel a small smile. Rachel beamed back at her._

"_Jeez, do all your smiles have to be so damn big?" Quinn asked, shaking her head. _

_It was Rachel's turn to smile as her smile grew even wider. "I take every opportunity I can to smile," she confessed. "It helps me practice for when I'm a Broadway star and will have to smile on the red carpet as petty people take my picture." _

_Quinn shook with silent laughter as she zipped up her make-up bag. "You're a piece of work." _

_Rachel just grinned, and Quinn groaned. _

"_Come on, Smiles. We're missing spin the bottle." _

_Rachel grabbed the door and held it open for Quinn._

"_After you, Tinkerbell."_

_By the time the two girls got to the living room, Mercedes had kissed Kurt, Puck had kissed Sugar, and Brittany was in the middle of a steamy lip-lock with Santana. _

"_Wow, wonder how that one worked out." Quinn muttered as she rolled her eyes and sat down in the circle. _

_Brittany broke off the kiss at the sound of Quinn's voice and she whirled around. _

"_Queenie!" She scooted her way over to Quinn and gave her a hug. _

_Santana made her way over as well, taking her place next to Brittany and tapping the blonde girl on the nose. _

"_That would be Quinnie, B." _

"_Right." _

_Quinn just shook her head and smiled. "Whose turn is it?" she asked. _

"_Mine!" Tina squealed from beside her. The Asian girl reached into the center of the circle and gave the empty vodka bottle a hard spin. It twirled around and around, slowly coming a stop, pointing at – _

"_Sam?!" Tina shrieked. _

_Finn and Puck, who sat on both sides of Sam, immediately started making kissy noises at the embarrassed blonde. He scowled and pushed them away as he crawled into the middle of the circle. Across from him, Tina did the same. _

_They met in the middle, disgust written plain on clear on each of their faces, and quickly leaned forwards, pecking. _

_Tina drew back almost instantly, wiping her mouth. "Yuck!" she cried. _

_Sam did the same, gagging as he sat back down, muttering, "I hate this game. Quinn, please spin the bottle so I can stop thinking about what just happened." _

_Quinn sighed and grabbed the bottle, giving it a good spin. Everyone watched intently as the glass object twirled around before coming to rest, pointing at none other than Rachel._

"_Ooooooooh!" All the girls groaned as the guys started hooting. Rachel, however, was immune to all sound. Her eyes were locked on the blonde girl across the room, who still seemed to be processing what was about to happen._

"_Oh, stop it." She hushed the boys, "Come on, Quinn. No big deal." _

_She crawled forward and waited at the center of the circle until Quinn did the same. They sat there for several seconds, while everyone around them chanted, "Kiss, kiss, kiss!" _

"_Plant one on that big fucking mouth, Q, maybe it'll finally get her to shut up!" _

_Quinn turned to scowl at Santana, who winked back at her. _

_Finn cleared his throat. "Uhh, I don't know how I feel about this. I mean, my ex-girlfriend kissing my current girlfriend?"_

_Puck elbowed him. "Dude, shut up! That's totally hot." _

"_Oh my God," Quinn groaned, finally turning back to Rachel. "Let's just do this so he'll shut up." _

_Rachel nodded, stomach fluttering with nerves. She leaned forward and slowly, her lips met Quinn's. _

_In that moment, time stopped for Rachel. All she knew was Quinn. The only thing she could feel and hear and taste and smell was the blonde girl as their lips crashed together. The kiss could have last for a single second, or several days. Rachel wasn't really sure she knew the difference. _

_After was felt like years, Quinn pulled away and gazed at Rachel with darkened hazel eyes. _

"_Wow," Rachel breathed out, starry-eyed. The room was quiet, all eyes on her and the blonde as they stared at each other, breaking hard. _

"_Shit," Santana said, breaking the silence. "Wow is right!"_

* * *

Hours after the funeral service, Rachel sat in her bed, staring at her phone. She had been staring at it for 20 minutes now, trying to figure out what to say to Quinn.

The blonde had said to call her, but that just wasn't going to happen. Rachel had dialed the number four times, each time pressing end at least second, before finally deciding that texting would be easier.

_Wrong. _She had absolutely no idea what to say to the blonde, how to act, what to ask, any of it.

"This is dumb, Rachel," she scolded herself. "Just ask her when she can see you."

And yet, another 20 minutes later, her phone still sat untouched as Rachel formed text after text in her mind, none of them quite making it to her phone.

The tiny brunette was startled out of her thoughts when her phone buzzed, signaling a new message. Sighing, she picked it up, thankful for the distraction.

**Stop debating on what to say and just ask when I'm free to have you badger me with questions like I know you're going to. **

Rachel's mouth popped open as she gawked at the text from Quinn. How did the blonde –

Her phone buzzed again.

**Hey Rachel, I think you dropped something. Pick up your jaw.**

Rachel's expression of shock turned to one of outrage. Where did Quinn get off just assuming that –

**Wipe that look off your face. **

The tiny brunette flew to her window and looked out into the darkness, making sure Quinn wasn't watching her from somewhere. She squinted at the trees and bushes in her backyard suspiciously.

The truth was, Rachel was almost hoping she _would _see Quinn out there. That would be easier to deal with than admitting that Quinn still knew her so well. Knowing that she was being ridiculous, Rachel plopped back down on her bed with a sigh, picking up her phone and responding to the blonde.

_I seem to have forgotten how infuriatingly sassy you can be. Does lunch at Breadstix work tomorrow?_

**It does if it's on you. I'm yours at 12.**

_I hardly think that's fair. We will split the bill._

She almost added _'as per usual'_ but stopped herself before realizing that they didn't have a 'usual' anymore.

**Not a chance. See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Smiles.**

Rachel's breath caught as she read Quinn's latest text. It had been so long since she had heard that nickname. Something deep inside of her ached and her heart felt fluttery as she responded in the only way she knew how.

_Tomorrow it is. Goodnight, Tink._

Tossing her phone aside, Rachel buried her face in her pillows and wished she knew was she was doing.

But of course, as always was the case when dealing with Quinn, she _never_ knew what she was doing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, guys! Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites. I'm glad everyone's intrigued so far! **

**I got a couple PMs asking questions so here's to clarify - this story takes place towards the end of Rachel and Quinn's sophomore year in college. Everything in italics is a flashback to their high school days. You'll get little pieces of their story with each chapter. Hope that clears things up! **

**Here's Chapter 3, I hope it satisfies you all and as always, review are much appreciated (: **

* * *

Rachel sat a table in the corner of Breadstix, anxiously drumming her fingers against her leg. She grabbed her phone form the table and checked the time yet again.

11:58

The tiny brunette took a deep breath. I'm yours at 12 the blonde had texted her last night. Quinn would be there any minute now, and Rachel was a ball of nerves. The would be the first time she talked to Quinn – really, truly talked to her – since everything that had happened between them. Obviously she had seen the blonde on various occasions, like Will and Emma's almost-wedding disaster. Bu even then, there had been clear awkward tension, and Rachel had spent most of her time that night with Finn.

Anyways, in retrospect it had been over two years since she and Quinn had exchanged more than an uncomfortable "hey" up until yesterday at the funeral.

Yes; yesterday which Rachel hadn't been able to stop thinking about. Yesterday, when Quinn had held her in her arms once again, comforting her, and parting with a goodbye kiss to Rachel's hand. Quinn had left her standing outside of the church, not having a clue what had just happened. To be honest, Rachel didn't know what it meant and that thought scared her. And now here she sat, waiting for the blonde to show up and as expected, she was starting to panic.

"Breathe, Rachel," she muttered to herself. "It's just Quinn."

But that was precisely her problem: it wasn't _just Quinn_ anymore. She couldn't afford to be nonchalant about this. She had no idea how to act around Quinn anymore, and she hated that fact. She didn't know what she was allowed to say, where the borders lay, _anything_ – and it was twisting her stomach into knots.

"Let me guess. You've been sitting her for at least ten minutes."

Rachel's head shot up at the sound of Quinn's teasing remark.

"Fifteen, actually," she admitted as the blonde sat down across from her.

"You always were a sucker for punctuality." Quinn smirked as she picked up a menu. "What was it you always used to say? 'If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. And if you're late –'"

"'You better have a really good excuse,'" Rachel finished for her, chuckling. She gazed at the girl sitting across from her, making silent observations as the blonde read her menu.

Quinn was wearing a pale blue baby doll dress – after all this time, she could still work them – and her hair, parted to the side, hung loosely down the sides of her face, reaching just past her shoulders. She was relaxed and at ease; she looked beautiful.

"Um…your hair looks good." Rachel cringed inwardly and kicked herself mentally for the awkward compliment.

However, Quinn just took it in and smiled. "Thanks," she said, putting down her menu. "I'm growing it out again. I miss my long hair. Can't remember why I ever cut it in the first place, to be honest."

"I do!" Rachel exclaimed before she could stop herself. "It was the summer before senior year, and you'd been complaining for weeks about how sweaty your neck always was because of your hair. So I finally told you to cut it if you hated it so much, just to get you to stop whining."

"And I actually did it." Quinn grinned, shaking her head. "Last time I ever took your advice."

Rachel pouted. "I didn't think you would actually listen!" she protested, giggling. "Anyways, it ended up looking good! I liked it, remember? Because it –"

Rachel cut off, her brown eyes widening as she realized what she had been about to say. Quinn put her menu down and steadily looked into Rachel's guilty gaze.

"You always said you liked it," the blonde stated slowly, "because it gave you more room to kiss my neck."

* * *

_Summer Before Senior Year, two weeks before the start of school_

"_Quinn, please come out." _

"_No! I told you to leave!" _

"_Quiiiiiiinnnnnn," Rachel whined. The blonde had been locked in her room for over an hour, refusing to come out. Quinn's mother had called Rachel in desperation, though it had been difficult to understand Mrs. Fabray over the sound of Quinn's protests in the background. However, Rachel heard the words "bad hair cut" and "won't come out" and had come straight over, in an attempt to lure the blonde from her room. _

"_How bad is it?" she had greeted Mrs. Fabray with when the woman answered the door, sighing in relief. _

"_I actually haven't seen it," Quinn's look-a-like replied, leading Rachel through the house. "She went by herself and when she got home, she ran straight to her room and slammed the door before I had a chance to see the 'damage' for myself. Maybe you can talk some sense into her." _

_Rachel gaze Mrs. Fabray a dazzling smile when they reached Quinn's door. "I'm sure I won't let you down, Mrs. Fabray," she said sweetly. _

_At the sound of Rachel's voice, there was a pounding from the other side of Quinn's closed door. _

"_Mom!" they heard her shriek. "I told you not to invite Rachel over!" _

"_Well honey, would you rather I had invited over Santana instead? That girl could break down this door in a heartbeat if I gave her the go-ahead, and then you'd be stuck with a bad hair cut and a broken door!" _

_Rachel giggled as the older woman gave her a wink and walked back downstairs. The turned to face the closed door, rubbing her hands together. This shouldn't be a problem._

_However, 30 minutes later, Rachel was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall across from Quinn's still-closed door. _

"_You're being utterly ridiculous," she muttered._

"_Go away, Rachel," came the muffled reply. "I'm not coming out." _

"_Tinkerbell," Rachel whined, and stomped on the floor in frustration. "I'm sure it doesn't even look that –"_

"_Don't say it!" Quinn shrieked from the other side of the door. "He butchered my hair! I look like a man-whore!" _

"_Tink!" Rachel hooted at the blonde's word choice. "I have to see that, come on, please come out?" _

"_No."_

_Rachel sighed, kicking Quinn's door. She was met with silence, for once. The tiny brunette pursed her lips in thought before making one last desperate attempt to lure the blonde out of hiding. _

_It was potentially evil, yes; but she knew Quinn wouldn't be able to resist. _

"_Hey Tink," Rachel purred in a seductive voice, low enough so that Mrs. Fabray wouldn't hear her from downstairs, but not so low that Quinn would miss the throatiness to her words. _

"_Tinkerbell," she practically sang, scratching her nails against Quinn's door. "If you come out, we can play. We can play any game that you want. We can play aaaallll day." _

_Silence._

"_Pity," Rachel said, pausing for effect. "I'm wearing such a short-cut dress, too. Got all dolled up for nothing. I supposed I'll go then…" _

_Rachel slowly began to walk down the hall and then – _

"_Promise you won't laugh." _

_Rachel smiled to herself before walking back to the closed door. _

"_Promise, Tink." _

_Slowly, the door opened and Rachel stepped in. There stood Quinn, a miserable expression on her face. Her hair fell from her head in short blonde tufts that just barely grazed her shoulders. _

"_Quinn…"_

_The blonde rolled her eyes. "Just say that you hate it and we'll move on," Quinn muttered._

_But Rachel shook her head. "Quinn," she started again, "you look…you look…like…"_

"_What, can't find an adjective bad enough to describe it? I knew I shouldn't have let you in. You can't even say words –"_

"_Sexy," Rachel breathed out finally, cutting Quinn off. She walked over to the taller girl, her mouth slightly open as she reached out and ran her fingers through Quinn's hair. The blonde tufts were slightly messy, and gave her a total "just had sex" look. The girl standing in front of her looked hot and Rachel would have blushed at how easily it turned her on, had she not been so far gone already. _

"_What? Rachel, if you're just saying that to tease me, I swear…"_

_Rachel stepped closer and put her lips right next to Quinn's ear. "Does it sound like I'm teasing?" she whispered._

_Quinn felt a shiver run down her spine. "I, uh…" she said, swallowing and stumbling over her words._

"_You know," Rachel murmured, trailing feather-light kisses down Quinn's jaw line to her neck, "this new haircut gives me so much access to your skin." _

_The blonde felt her eyes flutter and close._

"_Maybe you're right. It's not that bad."_

* * *

"Rachel? Are you ready to order?"

Rachel was jolted from her thoughts at the sound of Quinn's question. She looked up to see the blonde looking at her with an amused expression on her face. A waiter stood at their table, pen poised and ready to write down her order.

"Oh! Yes, sorry," Rachel fumbled for her menu. "I'll have a spinach salad with walnuts and cranberries, please."

"Dressing? Beverage?"

"Ranch, and I'll take a glass of water. Thank you!" Rachel chirped as she handed the waiter her menu. He turned to Quinn.

"BLT and a diet coke, please," the blonde said, smiling at him. He nodded and took their menus, leaving them alone once again.

"Still a bacon fanatic, I see?" Rachel smirked.

Quinn winked at her. "Bacon is my one true love."

"I know," Rachel said, laughing. But her smile was quick to fade. "But there's a lot I don't know, Quinn."

The blonde sighed, picking up the hint.

"Okay Smiles, go ahead and ask."

Rachel heart skipped a beat at the gentle use of her old nickname and she swallowed hard. This was her chance to get answers.

"Where have you been, Quinn?"

Quinn shrugged, picking up her napkin and playing with it. "Yale," she stated simply. "You know that."

Rachel closed her eyes briefly; she should have seen that one coming. Obviously Quinn wasn't going to make this easy. But of course, that was expected.

"Are you still living on campus?"

"I never was, actually. I live in an apartment near the school."

"How are you paying for rent? Do you have a job?"

"Yeah, I have a job as a barista at this little coffee shop. But my parents are covering rent."

"So they bought you the apartment, pretty much?"

"They thought it'd be nice to have my own place."

"Is that why you never came home?"

Quinn's head shot up and her expression was full of guilt as she gazed into Rachel's eyes.

"Partially, yes," Quinn said slowly, her words laced with caution. "I was settled in and still getting used to the new place. And I did come home." Her voice took on a defensive tone.

"Twice," Rachel muttered. "For that first Thanksgiving and Mr. Schue's almost-wedding. Twice home in over two years, Quinn."

"Rachel…"

"No, Quinn. Don't Rachel me," the tiny brunette said, anger flaring. "I know it's not my place to keep tabs on your life anymore, but you never came home. I haven't seen you in two years. Despite everything that happened, I still care about you. And I was stupid enough to think you would still care about me, too."

"Rachel, please don't do this. Not here."

"Where am I supposed to do it, Quinn? It's not like I've even known where you've been the past two years. And it's not just me! You dropped communication with all of us. Even Santana and that alone says a lot. You cut us all off, except for Kurt. What the hell is that about? And this huge secret thing, I mean what could be so desperately important that you had to hide it from all of us and you choose Kurt of all people to stay in touch with? I don't get –"

"Oh my god, you're Quinn Fabray!"

Rachel's rant was cut off mid-sentence at the sound of an excited squeal. Both she and Quinn looked up in surprise to see two girls standing at their table. They were definitely in high school, most likely freshmen. Both were clad in red and white Cheerio uniforms.

"Sorry to interrupt," the one who had spoken gushed, "but it's just, you're like a Cheerio _legend_. There are still pictures of you in the locker room, that's how we recognized you."

"Would you sign this for me?" The second girl held up a white Cheerios practice t-shirt and a red sharpie.

Quinn glanced at Rachel, who sat unmoving, before turning her attention back to the two girls.

"Sure," she said, smiling and taking the pen and shirt. She wrote out a quick inscription before handing them back to the excited girl.

"Thank you so much!"

Quinn smiled and shook her head as the two girls took off, squealing over the autographed shirt. However, her smile slowly faded as she turned her attention back to Rachel.

"Rachel, I –"

But Rachel shook her head, her brown eyes tinged with regret. "No, I'm sorry Quinn. I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. It's just…"

"Just what?" Quinn asked gently.

"I miss you," Rachel choked out, tears filling her eyes.

Her remark was met with silence. She couldn't bring herself to look up and meet Quinn's eyes; she was too afraid of what she'd see. And then –

"I miss you too, Smiles," Quinn whispered, her voice breaking.

Rachel lifted her head and for several long moments, she and Quinn stared at each other, unmoving and never breaking eye contact.

Rachel could physically feel her heart aching, her stomach twisting into knots, and her lungs having trouble breathing. There was so much more she wanted to ask the blonde, so many questions still answered, but she couldn't seem to force any more words out of her mouth.

At last, Quinn broke the silence as Rachel knew she would and cleared her throat. "Did you, um, walk here?" she asked, wiping her eyes hastily on her sleeve.

"Took the bus," Rachel answered quietly.

Quinn grabbed her purse and stood up. "Let me take you home."

Rachel knew it was just asking for more painful tension, but how could she say no? She just nodded, picking up her own purse and following Quinn out of the restaurant.

* * *

The 20-minute ride home felt like years, but to Rachel's surprise, it wasn't as uncomfortable as she'd braced herself for. The blonde had turned on the radio as soon as they got into the car, and after three songs of silence, she turned to Rachel.

"You can sing if you want," she murmured. "You used to sing in the car all the time."

Rachel could hear regret behind Quinn's words, but she took the peace offering and began to sing softly along with the radio. Every few minutes, she'd sneak a glace at Quinn and each time, her eyes were met with a small but serene smile dancing on the blonde's lips that melted her heart.

When they finally pulled up to Rachel's house, Quinn turned the radio down and gazed at Rachel.

"I know there's still a lot you want to ask," she stated, "and I owe you answers. When do you go back to New York?"

"The end of the week. I fly out with Santana on Saturday morning."

Quinn nodded. "Okay well, it's only Monday so we can meet up whenever you want before you leave. I should probably leave at least two days for Santana to bludgeon me with insults and accusations about losing touch with her." The blonde smiled ruefully and shook her head. "But other than that, I'm yours."

Rachel returned the smile. "Why don't you come over here Wednesday night for dinner?" she offered. "We can talk afterwards."

The tiny brunette saw a hint of fear creep into Quinn's eyes at the suggestion.

"Won't your fathers be there?" she asked warily.

Rachel shook her head. "Daddy has a fancy dinner meeting that night, which means he'll be taking Dad with him. It'll be just us. If that's okay," she added softly.

"That's perfect. I'll be here at 6."

The two girls sat there for a heartbeat longer before Rachel leaned over the seat and pulled Quinn into a hug.

"I'll see you Wednesday," she whispered into the blonde's hair.

Quinn hugged her back, taking a shaking breath and nodding. Rachel got out of the car with a heavy heart and turned back to the car, giving the blonde a small wave which Quinn returned.

"Bye, Smiles."

"Bye, Tink."

* * *

**Ahh, nothing like pure Faberry angst. It hurts my soul. **

**Sorry that this chapter is shorter than the others, it's been a busy few days. But I just finished midterms so updates should start to come more frequently and the chapters should be a bit longer from now on! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi! Thanks so much for the reviews/follows/favorites/etc., you guys are all so sweet and seem intrigued which makes me happy! Sorry to those who said I'm keeping them in suspense - I promise the waiting will be worth it (hopefully)!**

**Chapter 4 is short, because it's Halloween and I've got a boatload of things to do (; However, I already have half of the next chapter typed up so I should post that by tomorrow! **

**Enjoy the chapter despite it's shortness. Reviews are always appreciated! **

**Side-note: The description given of Rachel's room does not match her room as it's portrayed in the show. This is just how I've always pictured her room. **

* * *

Wednesday night had come at last.

Rachel Berry was a wreck.

The tiny brunette had spent Monday night, all of Tuesday, and all of Wednesday up to this point in agony. When she wasn't thinking about Kurt, she was thinking about Quinn. And, if she was being completely honest with her self, she had spent more time thinking about Quinn.

Ever since freshmen year of high school, Rachel had been captivated by Quinn Fabray. That luscious blonde hair, those full red lips, her pouty expression, the signature eyebrow raise…from the first time Rachel had seen her stalking down the hallway in her Cheerios uniform, Quinn had taken her breath away. There was just something about her that…wow.

Being with Quinn was like trying to catch a feral cat. If she trusted you, she could be sweet, affectionate, and caring. But if she didn't, she was hostile, bitter, and lashed out if you got too close. She came off as wild and unpredictable, and would run if you tried to help. But beneath that façade, she was shy, scared, and just wanted someone to love her. Trying to tame her was exhausting, frustrating, and very potentially heart-breaking.

Unfortunately for Rachel, she had never been able to ignore feral cats.

In the beginning, Rachel had done the typical routine that most children do when they see a random cat. They run up to it, try to catch its tail, and get upset when the cat lashes out or straight-up bolts. Yes, that had been Rachel's first approach. She threw herself at Quinn, desperate to start up a friendship, and was utterly shocked and disappointed when the blonde rejected her efforts.

After that first failed attempt, Rachel tried again. She was nonchalant towards Quinn, almost to the point of ignoring her, secretly hoping to reel her in. After all, feral cats are really just desperate for attention. However, plan B backfired just like plan A did. Quinn took Rachel's attitude and turned it into a weapon against her, calling her a bitch and making fun of her efforts to "pull off the cool and uncaring vibe".

Plan C was where Rachel finally began to see results. It was right after Quinn got pregnant, and Rachel decided to test out the "approach with caution" theory. She took things slow, easing herself towards Quinn until the blonde finally ceased fire with the name-calling and the jokes and began to treat Rachel like a human being. At times, it was hard not to just reach out and pet the feral cat. But Rachel was gentle and understanding and supported Quinn throughout her pregnancy.

That is, until she let it slip to Finn that he was not the father.

Things had been going so well with Quinn but after the big blow-up, Rachel had mentally beaten herself up for pulling such a stunt. Seriously, one minute she had Quinn were almost friends and the next, she had suddenly turned into Maury _you are NOT the father_! It's like that heart-stopping moment when you've finally gotten the feral cat to come up to your hand and look you in the eye, and you ruin it by attempting to reach out and stroke its head and suddenly, it's gone again and you're back to square one.

At that point, Rachel had given up ever being friends with Quinn. But then, half-way through junior year, Mr. Schue had assigned Rachel and Quinn a duet. And in that moment, everything changed.

Now that Rachel thought about it, she really owed Mr. Schue for pairing them together. After all, it had been the take-off to what would eventually become –

_Knock knock_

Two solids knocks on the door jolted Rachel from her thoughts. She frantically grabbed her phone to check the time and squealed when she saw that it was exactly 6pm, the scheduled time of Quinn's arrival.

In a flash, Rachel was on her feet and thundering down the stairs to the front door. She skidded to a stop and paused momentarily to smooth down her hair before taking a deep breath. She slowly grabbed the doorknob and in one swift movement, opened the door.

It was a good thing she still had a hold on the knob, because if she didn't, she might have collapsed.

There stood Quinn on her front porch, wearing a pale pink baby doll dress. Her blonde hair was tumbled onto her shoulders in loose ringlets. Her lips were glossed over and the copper eye shadow she wore made her eyes sparkle. As soon as Rachel opened the door, Quinn gave her a soft smile.

She looked absolutely breathtaking.

Shaking her head slightly, Rachel returned the smile, giving the blonde a dazzling grin. She knew she was supposed to be mad at the girl, but she couldn't help it. Smiling was in her nature.

"Hey, Smiles."

Rachel's grin grew wider.

"Hi, Tink. Come on in."

* * *

_Beginning of Junior Year_

_Rachel took a deep breath in a desperate attempt to calm her fluttering nerves. Any minute now, Quinn Fabray was going to be knocking on her door, and to say that Rachel was freaking out was an understatement._

"_Stop it," she scolded herself. "It's just Quinn. She's coming over to practice a duet, not murder you." _

_However, when there was a knock on the door two minutes later, Rachel couldn't stop a nervous squeal from escaping her throat. She walked slowly to the front door and steadied her shaking hand before grasping the doorknob and opening the door. _

_Quinn stood on her porch, clad in her red, white, and black Cheerios uniform. Rachel frowned, momentarily confused before remembering that Quinn was once again on the cheerleading squad now that she was no longer pregnant. _

"_Greetings, Quinn. Please, come in. Welcome." _

"_Hi, Rachel."_

_Rachel took a couple steps back to allow Quinn to enter the house. The blonde was being uncharacteristically quiet, so Rachel made an attempt to break the silence. _

"_Can I take you coat?" she asked, before realizing her mistake. "You're not wearing a coat. Right. Okay. Well that's embarrassing, sorry. Just habit to ask. Um…" _

_Quinn gave Rachel an amused smile as the tiny brunette mumbled, trailing off. _

"_Did one of your dads take all these?" _

"_Hm?" Rachel followed the blonde's gaze to the photographs lining the walls of the front hallway. "Oh, yeah! Photography is kind of Daddy's nerdy hobby." _

_Rachel watched as Quinn moved from picture to picture, studying each one intently. There was baby Rachel sleeping, five year-old Rachel giggling, 8 year-old Rachel dancing, and so on. She trailed behind as Quinn worked her way down the hall, examining a timeline of her life, until the blonde came to a stop in front of the last frame. _

_The picture was taken during their most recent Glee performance in New York. Rachel was singing on stage, with closed eyes and a microphone in one hand. Her expression was both serene and intense. You could just tell by the look on her face that she was in the middle of releasing a pitch-perfect note. Her hair flowed down her back, and lights shone from behind her, creating a silhouette. _

"_This is beautiful," Quinn said after a long moment. _

_Rachel was so stunned that she forgot to respond. True, she and the blonde were kind of friends now, but that was the most genuine, and perhaps the first ever, compliment Quinn had given her. _

"_I mean," Quinn said, clearing her throat and turning back to Rachel, "not just this one. They're all great. Your dad is really good." _

_Rachel blushed. "Thanks," she said, looking up at the blonde shyly. _

_Quinn gazed back at her, a tiny smile tugging at her lips. Rachel felt something inside her stomach flutter. _

_After several long moments, she finally tore her eyes away from Quinn's and clapped her hands together. _

"_Can I offer you any drinks or anything to eat before we head up to my room?" _

_Quinn's eyes flashed quickly before she regained her composure. "We're practicing in your room? What's wrong with staying down here?" _

_Rachel studied Quinn's face, but the blonde appeared expressionless. "Um, well my room is sound-proof, for one thing," she admitted sheepishly, "so it's just easier to sing in there because we don't have to be quiet. But if you're uncomfortable going up there, I suppose…"_

"_No, no that's fine," Quinn said quickly, cutting her off. "Lead the way." _

_Rachel shook off Quinn's weird behavior and led the blonde upstairs to the second level of the house. She walked to the end of the hall to a closed door, with "Rachel" spelled out on it in tiny gold stars. _

"_Er…I should probably warn you that my room is kind of…well, it's not your typical high school teenager room." _

_Quinn quirked an eyebrow at her. "Let's see it, Berry." _

_Rachel pushed opened the door and stepped aside to let Quinn enter first. _

_The room was moderately sized, with the walls painted a light shade of green. Her bed was a queen, covered in a white duvet and white pillows. On one wall, there were several black and white photographs of Rachel and her fathers. On another, there was an abundance of playbills pinned to a bulletin board. Black and white music notes had been stenciled onto the third wall. And on the fourth wall, the one which Rachel's bed leaned against, there was a plaque that hung above the bed. _

_**Softly, deftly, music shall caress you**_

_**Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you **_

_Rachel caught Quinn staring at the plaque and spoke quickly to explain it._

"_Oh, that's from –"_

"_Phantom of the Opera," Quinn nodded. "Music of the Night?" _

"_Yes," Rachel replied, surprised. "How did you know?" _

_Quinn offered her a small shrug and smiled. "I love that musical," she admitted. "My parents took my sister and I to see it when I was 9 and I fell in love. I used to sing that song, pretending I was Christine even though she's not the one that sings it." _

_Rachel was stunned. "Wow," she breathed, impressed. "I never knew you were a fan of musicals." _

_Quinn laughed lightly. "Yeah well," she said, "there's a lot people don't know about me." _

_Rachel giggled. "Quinn Fabray, if you're trying to sound mysterious, it's not working." _

"_Whatever," Quinn said, rolling her eyes but smiling. "Now, about this duet…"_

* * *

"Rachel? Are you going to let me in?"

Rachel's head snapped up at Quinn's words. The blonde was still standing in front of her on the porch, with an amused expression on her face.

The tiny brunette's eyes widened and she scrambled out of the way. "Oh wow, sorry Quinn! Yes, please come in."

"Thank you."

Quinn stepped into the Berry household and let her eyes wander as Rachel led her to the kitchen.

"New couch?" she asked as they passed the living room.

"Hm? Oh, yeah." Rachel nodded her confirmation. "Dad spilled coffee on the old one a few months ago, and it left a huge stain. Daddy was so mad, but at the same time, I think he was secretly happy because I know he's been dying for an excuse to buy some new furniture."

Quinn laughed as they entered the kitchen. She sat down at the counter while Rachel rummaged around, opening various cupboards.

"Anything to eat or drink?" she called out.

"Just water, please."

Rachel could feel Quinn's eyes on her as she grabbed a crystal-clear glass and filled it with water. She reached into the freezer and took out three ice cubes, plopping them into the cup before handing it to Quinn.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

There was a beat of silence, during which Quinn took a sip of her water and Rachel nervously looked down at her hands. When she couldn't take it anymore, she raised her head back up and broke the quiet atmosphere.

"We're having spaghetti with tomato sauce, salad, breadsticks, and there's sorbet for later. Sound okay?"

Quinn smiled. "That sounds great."

Rachel let out a tiny sigh of relief; she had picked out the menu tonight very carefully. She didn't want it to be anything too fancy – it's not like this was a dinner date. But on the other hand, she wasn't going to serve Quinn peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, either. At last, she had settled on pasta; casual without going over the top. But it was still reassuring to have Quinn's approval.

"It's almost ready," she said, checking the timer on the stove. "We only have to kill about 20 minutes."

Quinn nodded. "Can I test out the new couch?" she asked, a teasing sparkle in her hazel eyes.

Rachel beamed.

"I'll race you there."

* * *

Five minutes later, both girls were settled on the couch, which had also earned Quinn's stamp of approval, flicking through TV channels in search of something decent to watch.

"Oooh, look!" Rachel squealed, "They're playing Funny Girl!"

Quinn groaned and shook her head. "No, Rachel," she said, snatching the remote from the smaller girl's hands.

Rachel pouted as Quinn flipped through several more channels before finally settling on a rerun episode of Gossip Girl.

"I have Gossip Girl on DVD," she grumbled, leaning back into the couch and making herself comfortable. "I could watch it any old time."

Quinn laughed, batting Rachel's arm with a pillow. "You also have Funny Girl on DVD. You could just as easily watch that 'any old time', too."

Rachel stuck her tongue out at the blonde, and Quinn raised her eyebrow. The tiny brunette covered her face with her hands, moaning in frustration.

"I still hate when you do that," she muttered. "You and your stupid eyebrows."

Quinn grinned. "You only hate it because you can't do it."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"No, I do not!"

"Oh yes, you definitely do."

"You are so annoying," Rachel said through gritted teeth, and shrieked when Quinn threw a pillow at her.

The blonde giggled at Rachel's expression. "Temper, temper!" she sang.

Rachel shot her hand out and smacked Quinn's.

"Trust me, you don't want to go there," the blonde warned playfully.

Rachel batted her eyelashes innocently. "Go where?" she asked, before striking Quinn's fingers again.

Quinn yelped and dove towards Rachel, hands outstretched and aiming for the tiny brunette's stomach. Rachel squirmed and giggled as Quinn tickled her. Finally, she stopped struggling and collapsed against the couch.

"I give, I give!" she said, laughing breathlessly.

Quinn smirked, pinning her down and quirking her eyebrow. "That's what I thought."

Brown eyes gazed into hazel ones as the two girls stared at each other, breathing heavily from the mock fight. Suddenly, in the same moment, they both seemed to snap back into reality and realize the position they were in.

Quinn quickly scrambled off of Rachel, releasing her hold on the tiny brunette. Rachel sat up and ran her fingers through her hair nervously.

"Um, I should probably go check the food." Her voice came out somewhat raspy and she coughed in an effort to clear it.

Quinn nodded, a pink blush spreading across her cheeks. "Of course," she said, and stood up. "I'll be right back; I'm just going to go fix my hair in the bathroom."

The blonde's hair was mussed, and sticking out from her head in fluffy waves. Rachel bit her lip, stopping herself from telling Quinn that her hair looked beautiful, and instead watched the blonde walk down the hall and enter the bathroom.

As soon as she heard the door close, Rachel let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding and sighed in frustration.

"What am I doing?" she murmured, staring up at the ceiling.

Sadly, she couldn't answer the question.

* * *

**Yep, so like I said, tragically short. But I PROMISE the next chapter will be up by tomorrow night and it will definitely be longer than this piece of nothing.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Before I start my pre-chapter ramble, I saw the GREATEST quote on tumblr and wanted to share it with you all. **

**"You can tell who is in the Faberry fandom, because they all have Gardenias tattooed on their wrists." **

**So. In. Love. And now I need a Gardenia tattoo. **

**Anyway, moving on. Okay, as promised, here's the next chapter. I know I keep saying they're going to get longer...but that just isn't working out right now. So I'm going to stop saying that and just hope that the content of the chapters makes up for lack of length. **

**! WARNING, PLEASE READ THIS - from here on out, this story will contain slight mentions of self-harm. Nothing will go too far into detail, it will all remain light and vague so as not to trigger anything. But you have been warned. **

**Side-note: I apologize to those of you who think that I'm taking my sweet time with the story line, and keeping you in suspense. I have a plan for this plot and the element of suspense/not-knowing the full background story is part of it. If you don't like it, don't read it. But I promise you all I have this very carefully planned out, and for those of you who choose to stick around and see how it plays out, I think (I hope) you'll find that the wait is worth it. **

**I'm done now. Enjoy Chapter 5, it's very angsty haha. Reviews always much appreciated!**

* * *

30 minutes later, both girls sat at the kitchen table in awkward silence, quietly picking at their food. It was as if the playful moment in the living room had snapped them back into the harsh reality of their situation. The several minutes of solitude Rachel had had after Quinn fled to the bathroom were like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water in her face, reminding her of the reason why she had asked Quinn to come over in the first place.

"This is really good," Quinn mumbled into her pasta.

Rachel nodded half-heartedly. "Thanks," she replied.

There was another stretch of silent tension before Rachel sighed, pushing her plate away and breaking the quiet spell.

"Quinn, this is ridiculous," she stated, point-blank.

"I know," Quinn said, running her hands through her hair. "I know. And I know you want to talk and that you want answer."

Rachel folded her arms. "Well?" she asked, deadpanning the blonde.

Quinn gave Rachel a look. "What do you want me to say, Rachel?" she asked wearily.

"Well gosh Quinn, I don't know," Rachel pondered sarcastically. "Why don't we start with why you dropped all your high school friends after graduation? Were we really all so bad that you couldn't stand being associated with us anymore?"

Quinn sighed. "Rachel, come on. You know that's not why."

"Do I?" the tiny brunette retorted haughtily.

"Yes, you do," Quinn snapped back. "You know why I couldn't talk to you and the others anymore. I need time away from everything; away from all the shit that happened senior year. I needed to get away from high school and Lima and just be alone so that I could finally clear my head and think straight and not constantly think about –"

"Bullshit!" Rachel shrieked, cutting off the blonde. "You dropped us all because you wanted to run away without having to feel guilty looking back. You wanted to forget everything and everyone, and escape what happened. We were _there_ for you Quinn, and all we wanted to do was help you. But you shoved us away and took off as soon as we graduated."

"Forget? You think I had any chance of forgetting everything that happened?" Quinn laughed, but it was a cold and empty sound. "Rachel, I couldn't forget, no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted to. Sure, I left. But you and the others were all I thought about. But I had to go; I was drowning here. You, of all people, knew how much it was eating me alive to be here. Yale was my lifeline."

Rachel shook her head, snorting. "Quinn, that's a lie and you know it. We threw you so many lifelines, but you wouldn't take any of them. We all tried so hard to help you and all you did was push us away."

"Yeah well, you should have tried harder." Though Quinn's voice was tight with anger and pain, it was obvious by the way she bit her bottom lip that she regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth.

Rachel sucked in a sharp breath and drew back as if the blonde had slapped her. There was a beat of silence before the tiny brunette finally broke.

"How can you sit there and say that to me?" she choked out, tears filling her eyes. "I was _always_ trying Quinn, even after everything that happened between you and me."

Quinn refused to meet Rachel's eyes, her own eyes filled with guilt and regret.

"I shouldn't have said that, Rachel," she said. "I'm sorry. I know how hard you all tried, especially you. I just…"

"You just _what_, Quinn?"

Quinn's response was barely above a whisper. "I was _dying_, Rachel." Her voice broke and the blonde closed her eyes, refusing to let any tears fall. "What I was doing…it was physically killing me, and I couldn't stop. I had to get away from everything before I went too far. I didn't trust myself enough to stay. I wasn't…I wasn't strong enough for that."

Rachel's anger was fading, and her heart broke as she watched the girl in front of her break down.

"You all knew what I was dealing with, on the outside," Quinn went on, "but none of you really knew how bad it had gotten. You all kept saying that you understood, but you didn't. You wanted to, but there's no way you could have. And I know that's not your fault, but I blamed you all for not getting it at the time. I began to realize that as much as you all wanted to help, you couldn't because you didn't know how much everything was affecting me. And that's when I started to shut you out. I was mad and scared and alone, and I put myself in the mindset that you all just pitied me. It made me feel pathetic and worthless and weak. I had to get away."

"Quinn," Rachel breathed out, stunned at the blonde's confession.

Quinn just sat in her chair, hands over her face and her shoulders shaking as she silently cried. Rachel watched her, feeling helpless because she knew there was nothing she could do to comfort the girl in front of her.

Suddenly, Quinn's phone began to vibrate and both girls jumped at the sound. Quinn grabbed it and muttered, "It's my mom; I'll be right back."

Rachel nodded listlessly as she watched Quinn walk into the living room to answer the call. She felt numb as Quinn's words played themselves over and over again in her thoughts. What the blonde said had triggered a far away memory, one that Rachel had pushed into the darkest corner of her mind a long time ago…

* * *

_October of Senior Year_

_Rachel Berry's day was not going well. _

_It was Friday, and normally she loved Fridays. Fridays meant that she had made it through another week of school, and they were also the start of the weekend. Well, Friday night was. Anyways, it was hard for Rachel to find flaws in Fridays, especially as soon as school let out. _

_However. _

_That was not the case on this particular Friday. _

_Rachel had spent the entire day off balance and unsettled. She hadn't seen Quinn anywhere, and it was already nearly the end of the school day. Of course, they still had Glee to go to, but at this point, Rachel wasn't sure she'd see the blonde girl there. Quinn hadn't shown up at Rachel's locker that morning like she did everyday, and Rachel had gone to class unconcerned, assuming the blonde was simply late to school. But the annoyance began to settle in after Quinn failed to text her back and also missed out on meeting Rachel during break. Lunch was when the worrying had started. Quinn was nowhere to be found in or around the cafeteria, and she still had yet to answer any of Rachel's texts. _

_That brought Rachel to her current state of mind, freaking out because the day was nearly over and Quinn had been a nonfactor for the entire time they'd been at school. _

"_Calm down, Rach," Puck told her when she asked him for a third time if he had seen the blonde. "She probably woke up sick, decided to skip school, and went back to sleep." _

"_Yes but Noah, it's now nearing 3 o'clock in the afternoon." _

"_So?" He shrugged nonchalantly, brushing off her concern. "I can totally sleep all day if I'm hungover." _

"_Noah, I'll have you know that Quinn is not hungover. I was with her last night! And we don't know that she's sick. What if something happened to her on the way to school this morning? What if –"_

"_Rachel," Puck grabbed her shoulders. "Stop it. If you really want to find out where she is, your best bet is Santana." _

"_Santana?" Rachel asked, wrinkling her nose in confusion. "I thought they hated each other." _

_Puck nodded. "Oh, they do. But they're also best friends and have known each other since kindergarten, which means they know each other better than anyone else does. They've got this weird, like, connection thing. Santana always knows where Quinn is, what she's doing, what she's feeling, and vice versa. It's batshit crazy. But that's how close they are." _

"_Really?" Rachel's eyes widened at this new information. She knew Santana and Quinn had a weird, on-and-off friendship, but she had no idea just how deep it went. _

"_Trust me, they're like twins," Puck said. "Find Santana. She'll know where Quinn is and can point you in the right direction…if she decides to tell you." _

_Rachel's stomach was in knots at the mere thought of having to confront the feisty Latina, but she knew she had to do it if she wanted to find Quinn. _

"_Thanks, Noah," she said, lightly squeezing him arm. "See you at glee?" _

_Puck nodded, and Rachel took off down the hall, determined to make it through her last class of the day and find Santana (and in turn, Quinn) before the glee meeting that afternoon._

_An hour later, and it was 3:30pm. School was done for the day and Rachel had exactly 30 minutes before glee started. Immediately after getting out of class, she worked her way through the crowded halls of McKinley before she found the person she was needed to see. _

_Unfortunately, said person was in the middle of a steamy lip-lock with Brittany. _

_Rachel hesitated momentarily. Was it worth it?_

_She thought about Quinn, and a million scenarios ran through her head, the last one ending with Quinn getting into a car accident and dying without anyone knowing. _

_Yeah okay, whatever was about to happen was definitely worth it._

"_Santana?" _

_The Latina's back went rigid as she ceased kissing Brittany and slowly turned around to face Rachel, who cringed involuntarily and took the tiniest step back. _

"_Someone better be dying, Berry. No one interrupts me when I'm in the middle of making out with Brittany." _

_Rachel's stomach flipped at the irony of Santana's words._

"_Santana, you really shouldn't say things like that, you know. Someone could very potentially be dying right now, or maybe she's already dead and we just don't know it yet, and now that you've said that, you've probably jinxed it and oh my god, what if –"_

"_What the hell are you ranting about?" Santana cut her off. "I swear, if this is something stupid and ends up wasting my time –"_

_But it was Santana's turn to get cut off as Brittany stepped in and quieted her girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek. _

"_Be nice, San," she scolded the Latina, before turning to Rachel and smiling. "What do you need from her, Rachel?" _

_Rachel returned Brittany's grin; there was something about the ditzy blonde that made her want to smile even more than usual. "Thank you, Brittany. I was just wondering if Santana could tell me where I could find Quinn. I haven't seen or heard from her for the entire day, and I'm worried something might have happened to her."_

"_Quinn? This is about Quinn?! Oh hell no, you did not just interrupt my make-out session just to ask where that wannabe HBIC is." _

_Rachel shrank back in fear but once again, Brittany shushed the Latina, whispering something in her ear. Santana's haughty expression slowly faded until she looked like a sane human being again. _

"_You'll have to excuse my attitude, midget –"_

"_San."_

"_Fine. Berry." _

"_San!" _

"_Fine! You'll have to excuse my attitude, Rachel. Satisfied?" Santana shot Brittany a look, and the blonde girl beamed back at her. Santana's expression softened as she turned back to Rachel. "Why do you need to know where Quinn is?" _

"_Well like I said previously," Rachel explained, "she won't answer her phone, and since no one has seen her, I just thought maybe something –"_

"_Oh, she's here," Santana interrupted. "I saw her this morning."_

"_What?!" Rachel exclaimed. "Where did you see her? Where has she been all day?" _

_Santana laughed. "Calm down," she said. "She texted me this morning, told me to tell our first period teacher that she'd be late. She showed up halfway through glass, bolted as soon as class was over, and I haven't seen her since." _

"_If you haven't seen her since then, how do you know she's still here?"_

"_Oh, she knows," Brittany answered confidently. "San always knows where Q is. It's totally freaky, but totally cool, too." _

_Santana nodded her consent. "She's still here." _

_Rachel shook her head, unable to believe that Santana could tell where Quinn was simply on instinct. _

"_Can you tell me where I can find her?" she asked, checking her watch. 3:40. _

_Santana smirked. "Why should I? Maybe she's enjoyed the day off from you and the air of insanity you carry with you fucking everywhere." _

"_San." Brittany lightly elbowed the Latina. _

_Santana sighed, giving in. "She's in the locker room." _

_Rachel's eyes widened in confusion. "Why would she be in the locker room? We have glee in 20 minutes, and I thought Cheerios practice was in the morning." _

"_Listen, I'm not your Quinn keeper," Santana snorted. Linking pinkies with Brittany, she began to walk away. "You know where to find her. Go ask her yourself." _

"_Bye, Rachel!" Brittany called, waving to the tiny brunette as she and Santana took off down the hallway._

_Rachel waved back and took off in the opposite direction. It was time to test this "connection" between Santana and Quinn, and see how accurate it really was. _

_By the time Rachel got to the gym, it was 3:50 and she had come to terms with the fact that she was going to be late to glee. Sighing, she pulled out her phone and sent a quick text off to Puck. _

_**R: Please inform Mr. Schue that I will be late to practice. Don't let him give away too many of my solos. **_

_Moments later, her phone vibrated. _

_**P: no promises. find ur girl?**_

_**R: I'm about to (hopefully). Thank you for the tip on Santana. **_

_**P: no prob. told you they're like crazy twinz.**_

_**R: Debatable. See you soon!**_

_**P: later, babe. good luck.**_

_Rachel smiled and put her phone back in her pocket, thankful for her friendship with Puck despite his use of text-talk. She crossed the field and worked her way to the locker room, yanking open the door when she reached it and walking inside. _

"_Quinn?" _

_There was no response. Rachel rolled her eyes. She knew this whole connection between Santana and Quinn was a fluke. Why had she listened to the Latina and wasted her time walking here? _

_Rachel turned to go and was just about to grab the door handle when she heard a soft noise from somewhere in the locker room. She whirled around, freezing, waiting to see if it would happen again._

_She waited for in silence for several seconds and then…yes, there it was again. It sounded like a small sniffle, as if someone was crying. _

_Slightly alarmed, Rachel walked through the locker room, trying to find the source of the noise. Maybe Quinn was in here after all, and just hadn't heard Rachel call out. _

_The tiny brunette continued to wander the supposedly empty room until she came to the showers. It was a communal area, simply a row of shower heads arranged in a circle, surrounded by a tiled wall. Rachel shivered; the thought of having to bare herself in front of so many other people terrified her. She had no idea how the Cheerios were so comfortable with each other. _

_She continued to walk around the circular wall until she came to the entrance. Hoping she'd find the source of the sniffling, Rachel poked her head inside the shower area. _

_What she saw was an image that would come to haunt her for a very long time. _

_There sat Quinn, curled up and leaning against the tiled wall. There were tear streaks on the blonde's face, and what looked like two slightly crumpled photographs sat next to her on the floor. _

_That part Rachel could have handled. Crying Quinn? No big deal. Nothing she hadn't seen before._

_No. _

_It was the sight of a shiny piece of silver in Quinn's trembling hand and a thin ribbon of blood on her left wrist that Rachel would never, ever forget._

* * *

"Sorry about that. My mom just wanted to know what I needed to be put in the laundry."

Rachel looked up as Quinn re-entered the room. The blonde sat back down at the table, offering Rachel a tiny smile.

"Listen, Rachel…"

But Rachel shook her head. "You don't have to say anything else, Quinn. I'm not mad anymore."

Quinn raised an eyebrow at the tiny brunette.

"Okay, I mean I'm still mad. But not as much as before," Rachel said. "What you said…it struck something in me and reminded me of how much you were dealing with. I know you said we couldn't full understand, and maybe you're right. But we did know that you were struggling with a lot, and we just wanted to help take some of the weight off your shoulders."

Quinn sighed wearily. "I know, Rachel," she told the other girl. "I know that now, and I think a part of me knew that then, too. Just at the time and in the moment, it was easier to lash out than accept the help. I guess it's because I thought that accepting your help meant admitting that I couldn't handle myself anymore and that's not something I wanted to do. Pride thing, I guess." The blonde attempted a smile, but failed miserably.

Rachel reached across the table and took Quinn's hands gently in her own.

"You had nothing to be ashamed of Quinn," she said softly. "There's nothing wrong with letting people in when you can't do it on your own anymore. You don't always have to be the strong one. It's okay to cry."

"Is it?" Quinn whispered, before completely breaking down and beginning to sob. She started to withdraw her hands from Rachel's, but the tiny brunette only gripped them tighter.

Rachel stood up and slowly pulled Quinn to her feet as well until the crying girl was standing in front of her. Rachel released her hold on Quinn's hands and gently wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck, pulling her in for a hug. The blonde's arms automatically wrapped around Rachel's waist, and she collapsed into the embrace, shaking. Due to their height difference, Rachel rose up on her toes and squeezed Quinn harder, running her fingers lightly through Quinn's hair with one hand and rubbing her shaking back with the other.

They remained in that position for several minutes, until Quinn's breathing began to even out and she slowly ceased crying. Rachel unwrapped her arms from Quinn's neck and stepped back, reaching up to wipe the tears away from the blonde's face.

Quinn took a deep, shaky breath and held it in for a split second before letting it out. Silently, Rachel took her hand and led her to the front door. She handed Quinn her coat, which the blonde had left on the coat-hanger by the door, and watched as Quinn put it on. When she was done buttoning it halfway up, Quinn turned to Rachel.

"I –"

Rachel shook her head, silencing the blonde. "Don't worry about it. Will you be okay getting home, or do you want me to drive you there? You can always pick up your car here tomorrow."

"No, that's –" Quinn stopped mid-sentence and seemed to reconsider. "Actually, can you take me home?"

Rachel smiled, grabbing her car keys and locking the house door on their way out. The two girls climbed into Rachel's car, and Quinn turned on the radio as Rachel started the engine.

The ride to Quinn's house was silent, but not uncomfortable. When Rachel pulled up in front of the Fabray residence, she turned off the music and turned to Quinn.

"Call me whenever you want tomorrow, and I'll pick you up and take you back to my house so that you can get your car."

Quinn nodded her consent, and grabbed Rachel's hand. "Rachel, what I said earlier, about how you should have tried harder…I didn't mean it. I know how hard you tried, and I knew it then, too. I shouldn't have said that, and I'm sorry."

Rachel gave Quinn's hand a light squeeze. "Don't worry about it, Tink. See you tomorrow?"

Quinn squeezed back before releasing Rachel's hand and getting out of the car. Before she shut the door, she gave Rachel a smile.

"Yeah, Smiles. See you tomorrow."

* * *

**What'd I tell you? Angsty x 10000000000.**

**See, the self-harm bit wasn't detailed at all. As the story continues, the mentions probably won't get much heavier than that. **

**Until next chapter! **


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